Banned from Trinsic


When we rode into Trinsic in need of R. and R.,
The fighters set out investigating every joint and bar.
We had high expectations of their hospitality,
But found it wasn't geared for adventurers such as we.

Chorus:
And we're banned from Trinsic, every one.
Yes, we're banned from Trinsic just for having a little fun.
We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,
But Trinsic doesn't want us anymore.

Our Mage's tastes are simple, but his methods are complex.
We found him with five partners, different species and sex.
The guard was on their way--he had no second chance.
He teleported out--left the remnants of his pants.

Our Dwarf would yield to none at putting down the brew.
He outdrank MadogMaclur and a the whole FoD crew.
The loud-mouthed Bard didn't win, but he outdrank almost all,
He was singing obscene songs on the roof of City Hall.

Chorus:

Our proper, cool Paladin was drugged with something green,
And hauled into an alley where he suffered things obscene.
He sobered in Tyr's temple and he's none the worse for wear,
Except he's somehow taught all the horses how to swear.

Our sly Thief disappeared awhile in the major trade bazaar,
Buying an odd green potion 'guaranteed to send you far."
She came home with no uniform and an oddly cheerful smile,
Leaving a bunch of brawny fighters in a drained and tired pile.

Chorus:

The Cleric loves Humanity; his private life is quiet.
The Royal Guard arrested him for inciting gnomes to riot.
We found him in the city jail, crashed in and broke him free-
Intact except for hickeys and six kinds of V.D.

Our Ranger loves exotic plants; the plants all love him too.
He took some to the town with him, and we wondered what they'd do.
'Till the city mayor came to us and swore upon his life
That a gang of plants entwined his house and then seduced his wife!

Chorus:

A gang of Pirates raided, and nobody seemed to care.
They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there.
Half our band was drinking there, and invited them to play,
But the Pirates only looked at us, and turned and ran away.

Our band is Sosaria's finest, and our record is our pride.
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide.
We're sorry about the wreckage and the riots and the fuss;
At least we're sure that Trinsic won't be quick forgetting us!

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